I need to get this off my chest,
and this place seems so far the best,
my mind’s purge, My needless urge,
this poem, above all,is a doors to my soul,
that left behinds my imprints, my sole.

Have someone seen my heart I lost,
did you mentioned it on very last,
forget the trace you want to follow,
times you can’t whimper and wallow.

I need a friend, so I scroll down my mobile,
Displease the feelings a person worth while,
I see people they have already known slept,
few among them consider me Im almost dead.

I Remember...
those eyes...candle rays
those lips...nights & days
those hair...cover always
that face...tears that carry aways

Play with no rules, got my own tools
I dig up shallow below round
an empty soul in this ground
peaceful place in more profound
a silent grave, demand or crave.

These words are an everlasting mark
for the existence and vigorous spark
If you have a heart then feel this pain
and If you cry in pain....
I hope you dont have a heart...

**************************************************************************************
Its Just The Way I'm Feeling
**************************************************************************************

Here I smile an invasive expression
mix with tough and my own procession
nothing thats made up rectification
so for smite me to my desire
yes for reason I am a liar
I see hidden pain, and regret
the heart of me just said
someone is killing...
it has no meaning
and...Its just the way I'm feeling

Night glows it cry to sleep
wind blows to hurt so deep
words flows will never return
acid pour faithless tragic burn
you dont wanna hear this..
the cradle you sleep that bliss
for every touch, for every kiss
someone is killing
it has no meaning...
and ... Its just the way I'm feeling

The hand lines catches nothing at all
I'll make it up to you for every call
I struggled to fix right, but end in fight
the day we fail...pinned up by nail
abondoned relation somewhere I lost
our story ended in a hospital ward
so called the neighbour of graveyard
as tonight someone is killing
it has no meaning
and..Its just the way I'm feeling

**************************************************************************************
Am I too old?
**************************************************************************************

Am I too old?
to be with my son
.... who left me behind leaving none
his wife dramatic side believes no one
from home this time they made me run

Am I too old?
to be with my family
...who is living uncomfortably
just cuz they hear the cracking sound
of my knees when I pray to come down

Am I too old?
to be with my grand children
who brings this joy with lots of fun
it seems my age for once got younger
but my smile fade facing their anger

Am I too old?
that had to be sold
...for him to her to acquire gold
leaving the image on this silhouette
I wish them still happiness for their hate

Am I too old?
who cant give them satisfaction
...this life is gone for their rejection
I gave so much of my time and sacrifice
from fresh fruit to dry, or melted ice

Am I too old?
to undertand all those things
pretended love, the tears it brings
all they wanted for every word had a clue
it means....
Rest in Peace old man...May God Bless You!

This poem is written to all those people whos family left them to die, the reason they say is "They are too Old".

**************************************************************************************
End of Nothing...
**************************************************************************************

Sitting and traveling my journey ends,
thinking thoughts my new pain begins..
my head on car's window, with empty feeling,
A soul still cold that needs healing.
concentration heard heart hard to control,
the tattered heart hurt hard to console.
for what Dreams are there so shattered,
words never came alive and left scattered.
my questions need answers to be found..
Only to the pain that are bound....

can I turn Around...?

With this path my journey end,
Misery sets a bitter return of life lend
nothing left to fight I was all alone.
this battle of heart and mind, Im thrown.
Tried to forget the one in heart..
you will be apart, people said from start
Drifting away even from love no one knew,
Its very much easier to say ...than to do.
Pain that leaves you feeling drained,
A lonely feeling, hard to explain.


It don't mean nothing
I dont know what it is
it comes from the heart
there could be an inspiration
....to this art

**************************************************************************************
I Wish I Could...
**************************************************************************************

Tell you how much alone is the darkness
The joy the sadness, no tension to harness.
Without you my Love...eyes search above
where Sky is the black page,
and my soul is trapped in cage
Like im your heart…
I wish I could...

I bottle up my love, at sea i throw
Masking the pain..
let it float and reaches to you
Seems so brutal so cruel when it rain..
I wish I could...

See my strengths and not my weaknesses
i show no justification no witnesses
as i hope from far away for that chance
a endless moment, even only if its a glance
don’t feel me wrong here im not made of steal
it all happened. and its all for real
I wish I could...

a sea of tranquility, fantasy with reality
we talked, we see it clear and seamless
a cloudy image, relaxing and painless
I see the conquest in your eyes..
Wish I could borrow...
Until my eyes close at last tomorrow

Tell me...
is it only in dreams will our pain cease.
is it only in dreams can we find peace.

If Only I Could....
I wish I could...

**************************************************************************************
Journey with no Hope
**************************************************************************************

Dead ugly notion im my mind thrilled,
Standing on funeral emotions filled,
touched down with the wall,
unconcious faintly i fall,
in the corner let out a sob,
with another pressuring job,
vision smoke from bad to worse,
let go off me, away this curse,
get out of here its not my home,
felt so depress wherever i roam,
desert of thorn, love is gone,
decision wrong, same old song,
life of trash sack,
still cant turn back,
why? didnt even I think twice,
none cared to give me advice,
other option for not to scream,
let drink a bottle of listerine,
for this to end, a message to send,
i shall exist in world as shadow,
for a precious girl, now a widow,
nothing left for me to gain,
...Slide me the arrant pain.
Journey Continues with no Hope....Smile Empty Soul

**************************************************************************************
My Wasted Days
**************************************************************************************

I should have walk till today
stop this day left toss away
hands useless cant wipe tears
love must have ruined fears
....isolated that I am
mystery behind the name invisibleman

to catch a glimpse of you
I should have not set
the nights for what I do
is cry and pretend face wet
but I didn't see anyone I knew
can't sleep in this thorn bed
so i pursue...

shackles break...the pain rise
she cries, wish dies, still tries
slight touched the blade to wrist
should I write her name on it
my test stand under sun bare feet
so heart broken .... so weak
Sweat dripping down the skin
Didnt kept the promise, given

useless destiny with philosophy
like a explosion of catastrophe
write crap bullsh*t as always
same place, cant see back
no trace, continue the track
one face....is Gone

counting my wasted days

**************************************************************************************
Im Leaving, Im Gone
**************************************************************************************

respect, friend, trust, care, me here im gone
thought it would go as expected now im wrong
Leaving this place in hand of you all
never thought betray by my own friend
they made me realize with those words they send
dont care I did my best to protect this little land
where i see the future of happiness when i stand
Arent those all my illusions
that i never existed in seclusions,
ooh my you still as always rude
Nafees you walk over my attitude
When i said, words that made you mad
I respect everyone but now i must leave sad
as an expressionless corpse, full of dust
lie in that small room left to rust
who knows who cares about it anyway
nobody give a damn about it what I say
feels like heaven refreshes the eyes comfort
watch me go, by the way does that hurt
No was not the answer as they turn their back
so i leave you all to enjoy the fun ... fade to black

Im Leaving, Im Gone....
Please Forgive me if Im wrong

**************************************************************************************
Foolish Pride
**************************************************************************************

A tear flows down her tender cheek.
She fights back crying thinks it makes her weak.
Her pain and anger held inside,
are breaking her down because of her foolish pride.
She holds her problems, within her mind.
The good in life, she can no longer find.
Her pain and anger held inside,
are breaking her down because of her foolish pride.
Her body numb, from the pain within,
a blade becomes her only friend.
Her pain and anger held inside,
are breaking her down because of her foolish pride.
She tries to feel it, she cuts long and slow,
but there's no relief, as the crimson (blood) flows.
Her pain and anger held inside,
are breaking her down because of her foolish pride.
The last cut made she went too far.
As she fades she knows what cryings for.
Her pain and anger held inside,
have taken her down because of foolish pride.
Still Waiting...

**************************************************************************************
Empty Can
**************************************************************************************

I walked near the beach for something new
the bench came by so i sat for the view
blowing the cold and rubbing my hands
smell of wet sand, a noise of a empty can

Empty can rolls down the street,
Like it's in a rush, someone to meet,
The gush of wind blowing it from left to right,
Until the noise and the empty can, rolls out of sight.

Today my soul is that empty can... banging,
Noisy, empty... clanging,
Down the empty streets, while the wind blows,
People pushing me about... to and fro

Like a drum, echoing in a hollow room,
Today all I can hear is boom boom boom,

They have sucked the life out me...
I thought I could hold on for a while, but finally,
They have emptied each room of my soul... its bare,
And today all thats left is somber, clanging banging there..

**************************************************************************************
Thought I must give up on life
**************************************************************************************

I thought I must give up on life
And turn into a stone,
The desert wind quite suited me,
No heart, no mind--just bone.
I thought it would be dumb to try
To want something again,
Wanting turns to need, and then
Transmogrifies to pain.
I laughed at people still in love
Who trusted someone's word,
To make my happiness depend
On faith seemed quite absurd.
I lay alone and wonder-struck,
Sleepless in my bed,
Still numb, still dumb, still ice, ice cold,
Not knowing I was dead.
And then you came and shone upon
My meadow full of snow,
And saw the flowers only love
Could recognize and grow,
And made me feel so beautiful
I shed my cold, cold skin,
And opened up my heart to you,
And, fearful, let you in.
And now, my dear, I am in love,
With all that I've been through.
I know the worst of all the world,
And I believe in you.....

**************************************************************************************
My Life is a Story....Out Now on DVD
**************************************************************************************

what if I decline to read
The script wrote with words of pain,
Would you review my burning need
or like critics consider me insane.

what if I receive your plea
How blind I was, as not to see
for the rehersal you came to me
as an act we dance on the sonet
pretend to be one while sing it
In a glimpse of your imagination,
Wrapped in commemoration,
kept telling me, what a lovely voice,
You spoke with, such a divine thing,
I imagined the sound effect, with rejoice
Saying "I Miss You" the love you bring

Theater full of dexterity,
your own pompous certainty.
picture glows in its own simplicity.
Credits flows with one similarity
introduces my name with her beauty
towards the veiled virtuous lane.
hold your spirit back again.

in reality it doesnt fit .....
who cares
got fortune and fame with world wide hit
showbiz here i relate you with this flick
at premiere, cheer, chanting camera click
it all on the outside what happens beneath
released over the world with this glory
Written by ONE...My Life is a Story

...Out Now on DVD

**************************************************************************************
Night i prayed for you or...??
**************************************************************************************

I Lay down on to bed
Remember what she said
night as always cold
on one there to hold
staring at the ceiling
heavily still breathing
I dont know, I dont wanna know
So Alone!

uncomfortable i settle down to my rest
knuckles up prays Allah to give you best

"Ya Allah Khair let her hold on to her faith,
I didnt wanted her to cry, I wasnt very late
Allah have position in heaven, for who patiently wait,
I didnt wanted the water drops of her eyes
the feeling keep pushing me down from rise
I wanted her joyful and strong, and sincere,
I hope she loves me in endure life without fear,
I wish that my existence she do not fret,
I dont exist for others I "The Invisibleman"
I am in love, and i can beg to ONE "I can"
I expected all my prayers were answered
I know then Our heart would be enraptured
I pray this for her, my future companion"

Silence came down me, Then I thought
Eyes open, I was asleep what I got
Who was she who asked me to pray
Who was she who asked me this way
Who was she in me, I prayed for
what one hold for me came no more
for one I kneel down and said
but have i met her yet?

**************************************************************************************
Remember Me....Because I'll be Gone!
**************************************************************************************

When your eyes meet the moon,
When your ears seize a tune,
When amusing times ends so soon,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When you feel the tint of a sunset ray,
When it becomes dark at the end of the day,
When you regain hope each time your pray,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your hair dances with the wind,
When your life goes in a bitter trend,
When you go around and look for a friend,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your hand plays with the rain,
When you fall in love and feel insane,
When you fall out of love and feel the pain,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your heart melts as you hear a song,
When something feels right when its wrong,
When you feel everyday like you have grown,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

Remember Me, Because I'll be gone
Dont Cry for Me, When I'm gone..

**************************************************************************************
One Night
**************************************************************************************

Late night I drove my car
unknown destination seem so far
stopped by a female behind a bar
Glass down I thought to play a game
said "Hey! Girl soo whats your name"
the plastic bimbo said, "your question is lame
for what and Why do you care its all the same"
ok i said "for how much do you offer your time
you look like under 18 and thats a crime"

she said...
"get a life punk its the pleasure so just play
a market of flesh, dont bore me just go away"
"ok ok i got the money but i want to know
where you came from and where u want us to go"
girl replied "there is an apartment on the eletra street
that no one knows, where we have all fun and treat
now no talking, raise your wallet
dont worry about security, it's all in the toilet"

I need to stop this so I plan to go in there
called the cops and told them its all in here
comon comon why police is late, for god sake
there they come and caught them red handed
close a small chapter of illegal act
but its not the end of the fact
there are more and lot more to come
some people hate and its fun for some

...went 120 through the town
I drove till i broke and knocked down
destination back seem so far
that was a night I drove in my car

**************************************************************************************
Poetry is my soul
**************************************************************************************

Poetry is my soul, my well being, my hope
Its the outlet I seek when I cannot not cope,
Its thoughts turned into words, when I cannot speak,
Like the awesome beauty of a snowy mountain peak.

poetry, is my life line, when I feel like dying,
Its the hand that wipes away the tears, when I'm crying,
Its the echo of my laughter, and the corners of my smile,
The gentle thoughts in the moment, when I'm silent for a while.

Poetry, is my life, a story I could never tell..
It's the book that I wish to write, but never will sell,
Its the window into my existence, opened wide for all to see..

Poetry is a journey... into the mind... of me!

**************************************************************************************
Who Am i - A Boy with No Name
**************************************************************************************

Crying boy end last tear,
Please tell me what is fear,
im a boy that don’t go home,
For I always loved my pathetic lone,
I cried to have family somewhere
Mom who cud fix my hair
a father that takes me school
my life stands on no rule
picture is black, white & grey
wish friend comes to play
accept the expect,
my broken life set
life with no respect
pretend to smile
once in a while...
abandoned every mile
with no fair trial
please, me dont you Hate
the bastard that u create
Still crying like a flying bird,
Running away from the world
with no family, uncomfortably
Crying boys made the sea,
All salty that I cant see.
Why me why it has to be me
I beg and beg everyone Please
get me out of this horrible disease

When you have kids
don't put any chains on their wrists, Please Don't
do tell them this
there's nothing in this world that you can't be if you want it enough
...Smile Empty Soul

**************************************************************************************
Im Not Ready...
**************************************************************************************

Maybe I am not ready for..
your judge...
Im not the one you ask for more
And I never want to be this way
I feel so sorry for myself to say
I didn't give a chance
to discover the deep in me
Never gave a sign of romance
but I am satisfied too
because the time has come
and i discoverd you
but I'll never judge you..
Maybe i am not ready for the hate
its all in our fate
for this weird type of relationship
its hard to believe that its true
Maybe I am not ready for new life
I am not ready at all to have u as wife
after what I heard & saw by my eyes
that you are not the same as i knew
or i used to talk to certain lies
and now you became someone new i never knew
but give me a chance to say i still like you..
not as a lover neither I let
as for you i am not ready yet...

**************************************************************************************
There is someone outside (Dedicated to Dawn)
**************************************************************************************

My fear will have you suffocate
your pain for me to allocate
at once she was dependent addiction
caused this internal contradiction

Don’t fool yourself, you can never move along
I’ll be haunting every dream and nightmare you got
Don’t try to convince yourself that what we had was wrong
You know it more than I do, without it your soul would rot

Open the window you see my gore
scared to death you fear knocks at door
you asked fot me and now im here
to take you away, count the hell near

You think it all ended last night
Believing it’ll do us both good
Stop hiding behind your degrading fright
We both know it’s just a momentary lost of sight

Stop hiding away, like a frightened child
Stop running away, escaping to your world of trance
Halt and realize what you could find
If you gave it all, i will allow no chance

time to say goodbye to ur relatives, by chat or phone
Oh no girl you are not all alone
If you did, you’re even more foolish than I thought
This is a lost deal you just bought

the other one is...which is a very recent one...
there is someone ..... outside waiting for her

**************************************************************************************
A Girl with Thoughts
**************************************************************************************

Second neurotic, persistent phobic
With dreams about something horrific
A girl with some thoughts on her head
A girl curled all day in her bed

Day and day, pass by
Sorrow and pity, shimmer from her eyes
Repulsed by the stench of atrocity
Lives by her own eccentric philosophy

Away from parents She kept a promise for him
where to find her happiness in lights soo dim
A girl that keeps the clowns within fed
with the world’s own narcissism that’s tinted with red

a child that goes crazy and paints the dream blue
a life that’s terrified from the heavens crimson hue
a species that keeps a storm in her pocket
escapes the world with a shining rocket

a love that is always late
even for her own fate
begs for her lover to go faster
ditches him behind for another laughter
a kid who always find someone new
to hurt, and leave behind as she flew
searching for another dismal soul
to feed on everything that’s foul

a girl who will always be a sinner
mistaken herself for a champ winner
a girl that had thoughts on her head
time still curled her all day in bed

**************************************************************************************
Relation with tears
**************************************************************************************

A blurred vision,
Because of my misty eyes.
Escaping their prison,
Leaving their confines.

Streaming down my cheeks,
Tears, those silver beads.
To meet my lips and then speaks,
Of pitiful heart of ache it reeks.

I touch it with my tongue,
Feel its salty taste,
Of bitter life, left unsung,
Of dreams, misplaced.

Peace distort
Mirth drought.
Love forlorn,
Hearts are torn.

Losing my sense,
Losing my soul.
Bare without defense,
For others to hurt and control.

A title without name,
A sun without light or heat.
A field without rain,
A silent heart without beat.

A night without day,
A being without breath.
A light without ray,
A life without death.

A poet without emotion,
A knight without shield.
A travel without motion,
A kiss unsealed.

**************************************************************************************
If Only You could see my Tears
**************************************************************************************

If only you could see, my tears
Coz that’s all that you have left behind,
Coz there’s nothing that I can love and dream,
No more reasons I still hide,

If only you could feel, my pain,
as I feel your touch and smile,
won’t you just come back n walk ,
with me just one more mile.

If only you could face, my fears,
that I will be lost somewhere in time,
the way you left me all alone,
lost all hopes that you’ll be mine.
If only I could fall, on my knees,(and cry)
as my life has fallen apart,
but how could I forget, its you,
who grabbed & squeeze my bleeding heart…

**************************************************************************************
Please Dont Change
**************************************************************************************

Please don't change
I loved it when you were nice and sweet
dance with me the whole nite tappin on the beat
what happend to the person i fell for?

Please don't change
now that I have you my life's complete
went to that far where no one ever meet
I can make you happy and so much more

Please don't change
I like you the way you are, don't let me go
I finally gave you my heart, so and for so
don't leave me unhappy

Please don't change
I may be leaving soon but don't let that change, let it flow
your turning into someone else can't you see
wont you stop me,
and i wont let me go....

**************************************************************************************
What Makes Me
**************************************************************************************

What makes me love her so
There are many things I see
I am all that I could be
With this love for her I show

She is the moon she is the sun
And the stars that shine so bright
She is the morning and the night
My heart and soul she has won

How blessed I am to know
Her form and gentle grace
With the smile upon her face
She sets my heart aglow

So young she makes me feel
And I bless each breaking day
And in each in every way
This love for her is real

I will never love again
With a passion such as this
Even when I reminisce
As my life begins to wane

What makes me love her so
There are many things I see
I am all that I could be
With this love for her I show

**************************************************************************************
There once was a girl....
**************************************************************************************

There once was a girl
Who was like no other
She had no friends
Besides her little brother

At school she was quiet
Never said a word
She was too afraid
To let her voice be heard

She wasn't mute
She could speak fine
No one understood
That she was extremely shy

She kept to herself
And enjoyed being alone
She would stay in her bedroom for hours
All on her own
All summer long
While other kids were outside
She just stayed in her bedroom
From the world she would hide

When someone spoke directly to her
Her mind went blank
She didn't know what to say
She couldn't think straight

When she did have something to say
She couldn't bring herself to speak
She was too afraid
She was too weak
She hated that she was like this
It wasn't fair
Why couldn't she have been blessed
With social flair?
She liked being around people
She was just afraid
She was scared of everyone
They were all the same
Sometimes she felt lonely
And broke down and cried
She didn't want this fear
To rule her life
She wanted to go out and live
To laugh and be free
To say whatever she wanted
And make friends easily

This is a true story
This girl is real
And that is really
How she feels

But don't take this wrong
She is not always sad
In fact, most of the time she is happy
Things aren't always bad

But still, she wishes
With all of her heart
That this Social Anxiety Disorder thing
Would not tear her apart

She wants you to know
That this disorder exists
And that it's not her fault
She was born like this...

......There Once was a Girl

**************************************************************************************
Cut the Heart of Me....Please
**************************************************************************************

Can't you see? Don't you care
I want to die?
Don't you listen? Can't you hear
My silent cry?
Won't you turn? Can't you hold
Me to your heart?
Are you afraid of what might follow
Once you start?

Would you rather not believe
I'm in such pain
That all your sense and good advice
Must be in vain?

Would you rather tell yourself
I'll be OK,
And all this adolescent angst
Will go away?

Ah! Would I also swim across
This lake alone!
But if you cannot swim with me,
I know I'll drown.

i let this poison in my vein
free me let there be no pain,
Cut the heart of me please
cuz even this time no one cares

.... about Nafees

**************************************************************************************
I’ve often wondered...
**************************************************************************************

I’ve often wondered how it would be
If my love came back, just to see me
I’ve often wondered how I would act
If only my love would just come back
A part of me died, that summers morn
My heart broken, my soul torn
I’ve often wondered is it a must
For her to simply forget, with no reason just
I’ve often wondered why this must happen to me
Is it something I did, or failed to see?
Why she left with a muttered “I love you"
See you in the summer; I can’t wait, can you?
The time quickly past, at last it was here!
The time to see my girl was finally near!
I waited and waited, hour after hour
I sat there
Dumbly, my hopes so high,
Clearly she wasn’t coming, better say bye
To all those hopes that I shared
Never again have I dared
To put my hopes in something so dumb,
It’s better then, to just stay numb
I’ve often wondered as you can see
Is it wrong, to just believe?

If Hopes Remains ....Will I Survive

 ..........Smile Empty Soul             

Abdul Nafees. All Rights Reserved 2006